Ambulance (2022): Action/Crime/Drama

When two robbers hijack an ambulance, they manage to turn a simple heist into a full-scale manhunt.

High-octane action that does not convince, but most certainly entertains. Michael Bay… The man behind the most phantasmagorical cinematic explosions, car crashes, plane crashes, endless verbosity, epidermic dramas and yet, the man who has got the world unfathomably excited like few before him. And that’s exactly what the Ambulance is going to do; excite you.

Narrative-wise, what you sign up for is what I mentioned above – minus the plane crash. From a filmmaking point of view, you get: Dutch angles, areal shots, close-ups, extreme close-ups, tracking shots, slo-mo’s, Steadicam shots, over-the-shoulder, dash-cam shot, and all that in the mix, edited in the most fast-paced sequences you’ve ever seen. So, what did I think of it? I loved it! This is exactly the fictional action-packed films we all need to blow some steam off and forget out real-life issues.

The cast includes Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Eiza Gonzalez, Garret Dillahunt, and more. While the situation is extremely unrealistic, they work really well with one another, creating an electric and entertaining atmosphere. Having said that, after an hour and thirty minutes, the ambulance starts running on fumes – pun intended – and becomes repetitive. Interestingly though, the film dares you to draw the line between the good and the bad guys. And it does it well.

Based on the Danish film Ambulancen (2005), which runs almost an hour shorter than this one, Chris Fedak’s script offers nothing but excitement. The excitement of guns and shootings that belongs to the big screen, the small screen, and the books. The excitement that belongs to fiction! The excitement that has no place in the real world and, especially, schools! I hope everyone gets to find peace in their heart except for the gun lobby. I hope they find the justice they deserve.

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Solidarity for Ukraine πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ πŸ™

Stay safe!

P.S. There are two clear homages to great films: To Live and Die in LA (1985) – Driving in the wrong direction, and Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) – Driving in the LA river.

The Forever Purge (2021): Action/Horror/Thriller

The vast majority of pro-Purgers take the law into their own hands and extend the New Founding Fathers of America’s tradition… indefinitely.

The burning issues of a modern society under the microscope of a tired annual blood holiday. I liked the opening credits’ titles to be fair, as they were creative and summed up a lot of the issues we are currently facing that either make us ashamed of ourselves, depress us, enrage us, or just cut our breath short. This Purge though doesn’t build up like its predecessors did, and the reason is non other than the obvious: this purge does not end; it is merely the beginning. And as much as this could be something refreshing in the franchise, it ends up being pedantic, to say the least. It lacks depth and premasticates the meaning for you with the intent to unnecessarily lead and intentionally prevent you from thinking for yourselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the honest message behind it, but I don’t appreciate the way Hollywood undermines the audience’s intelligence. I don’t like badly criticising films that dozens of talented people have starred in and thousands of also talented people have worked in all three stages of production. For example, the two and a half minute shot is remarkable and even though it has been done before and it has been done better, the fact still remains that both cast and crew have put their hearts and soul in it. Producers Michael Bay and Jason Blum should be giving a lot more credits to the people that spend money and time for their entertainment. Like myself, all horror fans but also cinephiles want to appreciate an, at least, decent cinematic experience. That’s ll we ask. They are talented filmmakers with years of experience under their belt, and I would be honoured if I were to work with them. Films like The Forever Purge though feel more like capitalising the decay our world experiences rather than urging people to think why they feel or act the way they do and where they stand in a world that craves for diversity and unity.

Writer James DeMonaco and the studios should have put an end to the franchise a long time ago but I’ll leave you with a positive note. If you make it to the closing credits, blast the music and enjoy! Awesome and meaningful song!

Stay safe!

P.S. Still, my thoughts and prayers go out to the people who suffer from real-life horrors and dramas, such as the unspeakable wildfires that swallow everything in their path and their aftermath!

6 Underground (2019): Action / Adventure / Comedy

6 Underground.jpg

Six highly, uncommonly skilled – each in their own way – men and women have formed an anonymous team for the sole purpose of… making the world a better place.

Michael Bay does what Michael Bay does best. What do you expect from 6 Underground? Slo-mo? You got it. Slow-mo with car chases? But with also faster than you can blink cuts? You got it. Shots with choppers? You got it. From within choppers? Over the choppers? Against the sundown? With whirring blades (slo-mo of course)? Shots with men and women throwing punchlines at the brink of death, swapping to superficial drama, killers looking like they came out of underwear or fragrance ad? You. Got. It. All!

At a budget of $150 million, Netflix urges Bay to just destroy everything – preferably with explosions. Everything nice you see in the film will get destroyed. Simple as. Story-wise, the high levels of implausibility, improbability, and impossibility run through the film’s veins from the opening to the closing credits, making the Fast & Furious (2001- ) franchise look like a based-on-a-true-story. Meaning: The operations and the decisions taken throughout the operations are purely laughable, the chances of survival having suffered certain wounds are zero (much less keep running and jumping around, shooting, and kicking ass), the access to whatever they need, whenever they need it, the warp speed of getting from one country to the next… I can go on forever here! But… I have a favourite one: The brother’s speech causing the fastest revolution ever started in a film!!! The revolution started before even the speech ended. And, cinematically, guess how? Accompanied by pop, hybrid music, or whatever the hell it’s called nowadays, with lyrics calling to arms. I think I’m gonna stop here, you got the gist.

Here’s my two cents. Don’t take 6 Underground seriously for a minute. Know what you sign up for, sit down, relax, surround yourself with great company and horrible food, and enjoy the Bay style of filmmaking that makes all your problems disappear for two hours. This way, you’ll get to enjoy:

  • High octane, multiangular action sequences,
  • The destruction of everything looking fancy,
  • Entertainingly gruesome deaths,
  • Buildings and surroundings that are meant to be in one country but are shot in another,
  • Ryan Reynolds blatantly advertising his Gin,
  • Ryan Reynolds as an endless punchline machine,
  • Funnily foul language,
  • The “magnet sequence”,
  • “Rebellious” heroes and heroines who just came out of a Christian Dior and Calvin Klein photoshoot,
  • Transformers sound effects,
  • And an awesome soundtrack!