Girl on the Third Floor (2019): Drama / Horror / Mystery

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Wanting to make his growing family proud, a man moves into the old mansion he recently purchased to renovate it but the house’s dark past resurfaces to haunt him.

Fancy watching a thriller that is not thrilling? Maybe a horror to have a laugh? If the answer is ‘yes’ to both, look no further! Despite the film’s aesthetically shot, eerie, and misleading opening credits, Travis Stevens’ Girl on the Third Floor is not going to keep you on the edge of your seats. Au contraire, it will get you to sit comfortably back, relax and enjoy the pleasurable gore. Wrestling veteran CM Punk is highly enjoyable as a loser (as he was as a wrestler) who, in vain, struggles to prove that he is not. Sarah Brooks is on fire and will definitely make you gulp a couple of times. Trieste Kelly Dunn – entirely unaffected by time, bless her – seems like the only one who deserves happiness and gives the house a good run for its money.

Overall, even though it’s not described as Horror/comedy, this is exactly what it is. So, don’t take it seriously. I repeat, DO NOT take it seriously! Know what you sign up for, grab something unhealthy to eat and drink, get some good company (including your own) and just let go. I know it’s not relevant per se but I’m gonna say it anyway. Phil “CM Punk” Brooks portrays someone exactly the opposite of what he is in real life. He is part of the “Straight Edge” movement where, basically, he doesn’t do drugs, drink or gets involved with promiscuous sex. I can only imagine how that would make him stand out in the “Wrestling Industry” but I thought it’s worth mentioning as a healthy role model.

That’s it… Have fun!

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